ookie, finally, i feel like updating.. at home on a fri. down with gastric flu, for the second time.. not procrastinating really, this time was much better than the previous. although i puked slightly more. guess its cause i went to the doctor before it got horrible... the bill was like 46 bucks!! my most expensive visit to the clinic, ever!

hmm.. so guess no one visits this page anymore cause its been dead for so so long. anyways, there's so much i realised that i havent updated on, i wanna so next time when i browse there'll be these pics and words to remind me... you know, lest i forget, which i will...

went for ndp, for the first time in my life, serene managed to get the tics from balloting. it was at the marina floating platform, fun fun... felt patriotic for the whole time.. ha. what i liked best was the company of course and the fireworkss. i love fireworks so so much... to the extend that i can tear, seriously, but not the ndp ones... i've seen closer in thai. hee.. okie, a few pics to do the talking, there's so so many i'm rather lazy...

oh and i had my wisdom tooth remove the day before, so this was a woozy day... and a hungry one... couldnt eat.. much. thanks serene for the tickets and joyce for always being that joyful happy fren.. and tho, ha what can i say siao siao one.. love u la. always makes me happy to be with u guys.... time flis man, from china trip till now...


us with our lighted hearts


ahhhh...


this is so nice, with the hearts


looks just like falling shooting stars.. a gazillion of them.


everything bout ndp was real nice aesthetically and all, except this, so freaky. supposed to be some mascot i thnk, there were so many of them and light blue lighting from below, scarily funny... and the were bout 3 metres tall?? heh.


this is real beautiful too.


happy happy us...

we had kim gary afterwards.. last people to leave cause i ate so damn slow. cheese tofu. was full for the first time in 2 days. ha. then home.. that sums up tt night.

pics are so important. for memories. cause perhaps one day. someday things wouldnt be the same and at least we have something to hold back on, proof that the memories were real. to ensure we dont forget, to get back the feelings we once felt, no matter good or bad, sweet or bitter...
i really need a camera, mine is totally not gonna be revived. i need my memories, before this phase is over, poly is over, which is only in lesser than 6 months, what ifs.... the future scares me.

anyways, fel fel, thanks for everything, i dont think i ever said a real thank you, except maybe through sms? but this girl right here, helped me through all my bad patches in life, someone whom i can relate wholefully to, someone who is there not 24/7 but however she can, and that's enough. someone who i know will be in my life forever, till the day we'll have white hair and enjoy our bitter tea... i love you, as a friend, a confidante, as everything, as a part of me... thanks for all that you've done, that night, for the fun times shopping, our thai trip, facial trips, whatever la... heh. this is sounding like some love letter now.. so off i go, just that perhaps maybe we wouldnt be able to see each other like we used to if ever i go overseas.. if ever... but i'm so glad so so glad some place some where even if far, i know i have a friend like u. muacks.. heh.. see ya soon fel fel... idiotic fren...


this was like when??? heh.

ok feeling woozy.. i'm going to bed bed bed soon... and joycie, if ever u read this thankie for accompanying me to the oh so expensive clinic last night... muacksss....

internship... now, hmmm, dont think i learnt much, or anything, but met some funny people, other interns.. today's their last day and here i am sick.. oh well perhaps lunch tomorrow, and flea next week...

someone told me my blog's dead a while back. heh. it's not dead, just dorment. today was ajisen and arcade with momo. last day out before me and fel fel say bye world, bye familiar home, bye bed, bye yongtaufoo, bye bubble tea. heh. but bye in a good way. off to shop, see mommy, daddy, dar and yao.
fel's first time to thai, hope it'll be super duper fun. we'll be stuck to each other 24/7 for 8 days.

only thing that'll make me sad to go's leaving the dude behind. if only i could pack u in my pocket if you could come, then all would be perfect. seriously.

anyways, had loads of relaxation and fun since advanced draping ended, too bad design school's holiday is like so damn short. lemme see, wat'd i do since i was free, watched mall cop and shopaholic. it's both funny. but shopaholic's nicer as a book. really. i dont really like luke brandon's hair, it sounds thicker in the book. rebecca bloomwoods has super gorgeous hair though.

other than movies, oh heh, cards and photohunt day with q vio and fel, tt was good. when we come back we'll carry out our plan yea, chicken wing plan, cause i suck at that card game. oh, when we come back it's stress all over again. sucks.

and facial day with fel.

oh and i visited baby ashton, freaking puny and cute and gong gong. that's my only outing where i brought my cam along. its so amazing, the joy that little babies bring, i was so happy just carrying and looking at him, the crying's like so damn cute as well. shall go visit him again when i come back, he's my cousin's new born by the way. cute baby boy.


baby ashton


aidan and ashton. aidan's his big bro and he loves my necklace, he's wearing it if you can spot.


?guess who?


round happy faces


look how small he is really really minuteee


furthur smallie proof. baby's hands on momo's


i'm a happy mama.. heh. kidding


that's the end of it. cause lil dude's sleepy.

ok. off to bathe and pack or maybe sleep and pack tommorrow.

oh yar yar, one last thing, if lmb, lim ming bei, you happen to come by here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU KUKU KUKU KUKU!!! HAPPY 19TH. HOPE YOU HAVE LOADS OF FUN AND WOOOHOOOO I'M THE FIRST TO WISH YOU!!!! BE BACK WITH YOUR PRESSIE WHICH IS A RISK CAUSE U SAY SURPRISE U AH!!! K K K SEE U WHEN I'M BACK!!! MISS BB> HEH HEH HEH

people meet with tough patches in their lives, some are lucky to have family or friends or relatives or just random people who pull them through without asking for it. others dont ever open their mouth to explain why they're getting weird, having terrible moodswings, falling sick all the time, losing all that weight without exercise. cause when they do, all they get is surface sympathy, and they're just brushed aside. i'm not sure, but i think i belong to the latter. when you come out from a bad patch from the past, you learn, never to slip back there, never to allow yourself close to something like that, you learn, to find solutions before the problems all pile up and fall on you like a bomb. you ask for help, of people who might help you, but sometimes, in the end you'll just face it all by yourself, back to square 1.

i've sincerely wished before, to never know of the happiness that i've learnt, so at least there would be no such thing as letting go a bit. so i'm still as strong and as independent as before. but how can i wish such a dreadful wish. hate myself too. i want to see things with a mature mind, with a think-for-others mind, with a independent mind. so everyone'll will be proud of me, everyone including myself. i dont want to impose on people, to impose on their families, i want to be welcomed not to welcome myself.

when we were young, we wished so badly to be able to advance from using a pencil to a pen, from having parents ferry you around to taking the bus by yourself. from living with your parents everyday and one day to finally be independent by yourself. how naive and happy and eager we were. forgetting to consider about the stress and problems you'll be facing when you're older. when it's not just homework and eating your veggies anymore. when it's coping, surviving, stress, love, work, finances and the list just goes on and on. now, i wished i was 10 again, just for a while, just a break from all these feelings in the world, i want to go back to having no experience of pain, of stress, just be protected, by parents and have home cooked food on the table when i'm hungry. have mummy to cry to when i fell down at school. have the home be not quiet and dark when i come home.

i miss them, my sis, my bro, my mom, parents. really, at times, it's true, you just never know until they're gone. i fight with my sis all the time, but i feel better telling her about stuff that's weighing on my mind, i do.

now, all i can do and wish for is when the time comes someone will be here to share this quietness or that i'm able to cope by myself, cant be pessimistic, i'm forced to mature, so i gotta. what's gonna happen, how i'm gonna be, i have to believe that it's up to me. i really want to psych myself enough when the day comes. but i know i'll break down and wanna die. i need someone to save me for being away from the one that's been saving me all along, keeping me so happy and sane. he's been great, really, more than i could've ask for. and i've been unruly and so unreasonable at times. hurling vulgarities when i'm angry yet i've never heard a single one thrown at me before. staying up with me when i'm doing my work though you're so dying to go to bed. thank you for so much, for hearing me cry, for looking after me, for giving me all that support and company and love. you're the one and only thing that's grown to be so important, so needed. but i'll learn to be happy and no worries like i was last time when they were here, when you cant be around all the time anymore. i'll try my best. please bear with me for now, till i get more sane and normal and lovable again.